Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Oh the joy...

I am sorry if this is a super lame post... but since this is my journal as well I am just going to vent big time.

I feel like crap! I hate to complain about morning sickness because I know it's a sign that this pregnancy can be sustained, I know it's a good thing. I know so many people who are struggling to get pregnant for a first time, or a second time, or who have to adopt (not that adopting is a bad thing because I think it is an amazing way for people to become parents and give sweet little ones amazing families that love them) . I know that I am truly blessed that it is relatively easy for me to get pregnant and I should be suffering in silence because there are way worse problems to have.

BUT I just feel like crap. I have thrown up at least once but more usually twice a day for the past week. When I'm not throwing up I feel such extreme nausea that I literally have to force down each bite of food that I take in (most of which comes back out at some point). Everything grosses me out. Anything "sets me off." Yesterday I walked into Oliver's room to grab something there were no smells I just walked in his room, walked out and ran straight for the toilet. I'm so useless. All I do is lay around. I can't cook, the dishes make me gag, every time I open the refrigerator I dry heave. It's getting really unbearable and I know it's only just beginning. I feel like I can't function and I feel so bad for Oliver. I know he wishes his mommy were back. I have ZERO patience, I can't hardly get up without feeling like I'm going to have to make a mad dash for the bathroom so we lay around the house all day. It makes me sad that I am neglecting Oliver. I know he misses his mommy.

And to make things even more frustrating Oliver has become SUPER clingy since I became pregnant. All he wants to do is sit on my lap, lay by me, he won't play with his toys unless I'm sitting inches away from him. And that is trying my patience as well! I know I should be glad that my little boy wants to spend so much time with his lazy, boring sick mom... but it gets to be too much. I get the feeling that he knows change is coming....

Okay, I'm done with my pity party. I just wanted to record these feelings so I would remember them.


Kjelstrom Family said...

I am so sorry!! I remember feeling so sick too! It is just the worst feeling!! Even when I would be driving to work and the sun would shine on me, I would throw up. I had to keep plastic bags with me EVERYWHERE. I don't know why we have to get sick, but I am thinking of you!!

DJ said...

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling very good at all! I never did throw up when I was pregnant but I do remember feeling very nauseated and thinking at least this time I can rest the next time around I'll have a kid who needs her mom. Well so far that chance hasn't come for me like it has for you and believe me I'd take throwing up 100 times a day over the disappointment of waiting and wondering when that next time will be.
I am very happy for you though and like you said at least it is a good indication that your body is sustaining a pregnancy, a baby.
Hang in there Elizabeth! I hope the sickness part of it all ends for you soon and you can get back to feeling good and being there for Oliver like you want to be!