Oliver is 18 months old... and I know i'm getting a little late start on weaning but today it finally began. He's only been nursing at nap time and bed time for quite a while now... but it's those two crucial times that I've been dreading dropping. Oliver doesn't nurse himself to sleep anymore but he does like to nurse and then lay on his bed and drift off to sleep. Well today I began the daunting task of removing the nap time feeding.
Oliver is such a sweet boy. But he's also stubborn like his mama and has been difficult at times as well. I knew this was going to be a challenge because at 9 months I tried to do the same thing and it didn't go so well. Well after his 18 month check up and a good scolding from his pediatrician I decided I needed to just suck it up and deal with what is inevitably to come. So today it began...
At 11:30 am I had Berto go upstairs and stick A Bugs Life in the DVD player. This is Oliver's favorite movie and I thought it might distract him... boy was I wrong. I gave him a cup of milk and we came upstairs. I had him lay down on his bed and I started to rub his tummy. (He's a back sleeper still) He started to watch his movie for all of 20 seconds and then the screaming began. He would roll around screaming then get distracted by the T.V. then start all over again. This lasted for about an hour. Then it became a full on scream fest. I was running out of mental energy but knew I couldn't turn back because that would just send the message that if he throws a big enough fit he will get what he wants... (the comfort of nursing). So another hour of the full on crying and screaming and he dozed off around 1:30 pm. Boy am I exhausted now. I feel a lot of different emotions. I have been burned out for a while so I know it's time for us to be done with nursing, plus he's more than old enough. The improvement from now and 9 months ago when I tried is that after 2.5 hours 9 months ago he was still screaming and nowhere near ready for sleep. Today he actually dozed off in the exact spot shown in this picture. (I took at it after I knew I wouldn't wake him up with the flash).
I'm really praying that tomorrow will be a little easier and that it will just keep getting easier and easier from here on out. I'm not touching the nighttime feeding until we have naps under control. I can only take so much. It's hard because through all this I find myself questioning my abilities as a mother. I love my little Oliver so much but sometimes I think if I were a better mom I wouldn't have such a hard time with these little things. But I guess it's all a learning process... boy do I know what I won't be doing with my next one... I'm so glad I chose to breast feed, I know it's the best nutrition for my kids and it has been a wonderful experience... it's just this darn weening that's difficult, and I know it's this hard for everyone... just me and Oliver! :) Thanks for listening!